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My reasons for applying to the Mawddach residency, on some level, were quite simple. I needed time away from the distractions of daily life, back to basics and to trust that the creative process would take me where I needed to go. This residency offered me the space for exploration, personal growth and time to reflect on the next stage of my practice. After that initial sense of exhilaration of being far away in Wales, responsible for myself only, it was quickly followed by panic. Was I truly going to ‘trust my creative instincts’? What was I thinking! This could all go horribly wrong. I rapidly set myself some daily drawing exercises to stave off the panic. A self-portrait a day for starters and some continuous line drawing helped the rising fear fall away. I soon became aware that I was visually documenting my time by the Mawddach, which felt fulfilling. It also chimed with part of my proposal-which was to allow my direction to be dictated by my surroundings. It could even be said, I was starting to trust my instincts. When I was drawing and painting in the studio, I experimented with colour, form and mark-making based on the lovely interior space that was mine and Ling’s for two weeks. And when I was outside, I would do the same. This way, it didn’t feel too laboured and gave my days a natural rhythm, somewhat dictated by the weather-if I was inside, or outside. My daily routine started with that quick self-portrait in my sketchbook, I made coffee, and wrote in my reflective journal-planning for the day ahead and reflecting on the previous day’s work. I found walking and drawing incredibly uplifting. Working solely from life was a big change from my usual routine. It was deeply satisfying and although the painting was more challenging I allowed myself the time to experiment without feeling guilty that I wasn’t producing usable work. It was why I was there after all! By the second week my work relaxed, I relaxed, and I was completely absorbed, as I’d hoped to be. My residency partner, Ling, was a great source of inspiration, as I could see how focused she was on achieving her own goals, which helped me keep on course. We also had printmaking in common, which made for good company in the evenings and stopped me over thinking things on those awkward creative days. Jake and Scarlett made us feel very welcome and free to inhabit the space in any way we wanted to. My sketchbook was the first place where exciting things started to happen, and there are drawings in it which will keep me developing new ideas for months to come. There will definitely be changes to my practice as a result of this residency. Drawing on location, with etching plate in hand, will be something I do a lot more of from now on. Also, working straight from my sketchbook drawings, rather than relying on photographic resources as I have been doing for years. My final painting came from both these sources; life and my sketchbook, and it felt like a real creative breakthrough (a rare thing). It was a wonderful parting gift to myself to have completed a self-portrait that I didn’t want to lob straight out of the window. I had mixed feelings when it was time to pack up and return home. I had missed my family, but going from the stunning shores of the Mawddach estuary, with nothing to distract me from my art, back to a busy working family life, was never going to be easy. My overall feelings, however, are of gratitude and joy at the incredibly creative time I had away from the hubbub of daily life. I’ve gained what I’d hoped for, a renewed insight into my practice, a deep curiosity to keep exploring, and so much more that I can't put into words. Given time, I will put what I can’t formulate in words, into pictures. I am edging more into my imagination and representing things in a way that feels more honest and direct and for that I will be forever grateful to the Mawddach Residency. website
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